If You Are Already Overwhelmed By The End of The Year

But you REALLY want to enjoy it... try this.

In my family, we are at the beginning of crazy season. We have 3 kids with birthdays in October - December, in addition to all the holiday chaos. This year, along with everything else, we planned two October trips: one international with friends and one cross-country with just our little family, and a November trip for a wedding and Thanksgiving. 

Additionally, the little town we live in turns into Stars Hallow at this time of year… I’m not kidding. Everywhere you turn there’s apple picking and pumpkin patches, and some fun fall activity. It’s the best! 

And, it’s one of those situations where it should all be wonderful. They are all fun things! But it’s also easy to find myself overwhelmed by the number of commitments we have, especially considering we are only JUST starting to feel like we have a rhythm with school. 

Mixed with the germs of a new year, I’m already tired :)

The way that my anxiety usually starts is like an annoying fly in the background. It’s there, it’s buzzing, but life goes on with a slightly annoyed tone. When I’m at my least healthy, myy jaw is tighter, my shoulder are higher, but it’s mostly subconscious until it's not.. And over the last few weeks, I’ve been feeling it creeping into what is usually my favorite part of the year… the part that I want to feel the most magical of all! 

Simultaneously over the last few weeks, I found myself recommending my favorite author’s books to a few friends who had reached out or asked for one reason or another. And as I recommended them and sent them my beloved books and favorite chapters, I of course, picked them up again. I’m a non-fiction rereader, which I know is sacreligious in many people’s opinion. But, a college professor of mine had a saying I loved: “keep authors as friends”, and over the years, I’ve done just that with this author. 

She and I have had several life parallels. We went to the same college, married young, experienced pregnancy loss, and time and time again, I have turned to her memoirs and found them to be a balm for whatever season I’m in. 

A friend who was reading her words for the first time texted me last week, pointing out that her experience of her second newborn being hospitalized was almost a carbon copy of my experience with my third… something I hadn’t realized, but then prompted me to sob my way through the chapter, feeling like someone could put words to how hard that few weeks of my life was, in a way I havent’t been able to. 

Shauna is my author-friend, and while most of her books are her well-written stories, there’s a handful of practices she shares as well. In this is a season, which feels like a sprint, but I’d like to be a stroll, her practice of listing out what you are saying “yes” to and what you are saying “no” to feels particularly relevant. So this week, I’d love for you to try it.

Exercise: “ The Things I’m Saying No To”

Take out a piece of paper, or a notebook. Write “yes” and “no” and halve the paper, almost like a pro-con list. 

If you are anything like me, it’s easy to pump out 100 ideas of what you are saying “yes” to, but it’s trickier to identify the “nos”. For the purpose of this exercise, it’s important to keep them balanced. 

I’m by nature a people-person. I love being a mom and a friend, and I feel like there’s so much opportunity for both of those roles in this season. So many crafts, parties, food, and memories to be made! The “nos” are hard, but they are also the only way we can prioritize the “yeses”. 

Sometimes, I find it can be helpful to hear what others are saying “no” to as a way of getting my own wheels turning, so in case you need the push to actually make your own list, here is mine:

No’s:

• Additional work trainings

• Unnecessary afterschool adventures

• New recipes

• Feeling guilty about things I “should” be doing

• Making exceptions for tech sabbath

• Having couples over for the first time

• New clients 

A few notes:

*** As you’ll see in the picture, I drew mine on the top of my notebook that I’ll use for at least the new month or so. I’d recommend writing this somewhere, or putting it somewhere that you can’t miss it. 

*** This would be a really good activity to do with a spouse, or anyone who has a say in what your calendar looks like. 

Wishing you the smoothest fall transitions, and your very own Stars-Hallow-like experiences.